Mom life: the reality

There are some really great things about being a mom to a newborn. Holding your baby for the first time. Smelling their sweet hair after a bath. Snuggles first thing in the morning. Watching their eyes light up when they see you. Snuggles before bed. Dressing them up in impossibly cute outfits. Snuggles anytime really.

And, there are some things that aren't so great. Middle of the night feeds. Gas and colic. Blowout poopy diapers. Missing them when you are apart. Spit-up.

And then there is the stuff that just plain sucks. The exhaustion that comes from night after night of being up. Constant worries about maintaining a milk supply if you do get to sleep longer. Missing them terribly when you go back to work.

As I sit pumping in my car outside Babies R Us after rushing in to buy replacement parts for my breast pump because I left half my supplies sitting in my office when I rushed out to accomplish the staggering To Do List that is my "afternoon off", I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the reality of motherhood. 

It isn't all frills and cuddles and perfection. It's stress and fatigue and constantly being confronted with failure. 

Is it all still worth it? Of course, but that doesn't mean it's not hard. 

Pumpkin Season

"As soon as September comes it's like everything turns into a pumpkin!" I overheard one of my exasperated colleagues complain last week. I like to make people feel validated, so I considered complaining along with him. But I just couldn't...the truth is that I LOVE pumpkin. I love pumpkin lattes, pumpkin scones, pumpkin beer, roasted pumpkin, pumpkin soup, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin spice, pumpkin cupcakes, pumpkin EVERYTHING!

Much to my utter dismay one of the many odd pregnancy aversions I developed last fall was to anything pumpkin scented or flavored. In addition to wanting to puke every time I saw something with pumpkin, I was also intensely sad. I was missing my favorite "flavor season". As a food addict, it was upsetting. I had to actively not allow my mind to wander to the possibility that the aversion could be permanent.

Thankfully, I can report that my love of pumpkin returned post-delivery (phew!) One of my favorite pumpkin recipes that I usually start the season with is for pumpkin cupcakes with salted caramel frosting, but I'm making a desperate effort to clean up my eating habits. I decided to create a healthy challenge called "one can, so many possibilities" for myself. The idea is to start with one can of Trader Joe's Organic Pumpkin and see how many ways recipes I could come up with to use it.

Pumpkin face drawn by my oldest. Although adorable, it was not a kind gesture. She was trying to irritate the middle sister  who picked out the "teeny tiniest pumpkin" she could find at TJ. It worked. Tantrums ensued.

So far, I've made green pumpkin smoothies, pumpkin granola, pumpkin spice coffee syrup, and pumpkin overnight oats all from one can of pumpkin! Each recipe has been delicious and I haven't had to feel guilty about indulging in my favorite fall flavor.

I'll start this series with sharing the recipe for the pumpkin spice coffee syrup because caffeine is pretty much the most necessary part of every day when you work full time and have three kids...

Pumpkin Spice Coffee Syrup (adapted from Gimme Some Oven)

• 1 cup water
• 1/3 cup organic pumpkin puree
• 1/3 cup maple syrup
• 1 TBSP pumpkin spice blend
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Mix together water, pumpkin puree, syrup, and spice blend in a small saucepan.
2. Bring the mixture to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally.
3. Once boiling, reduce to low heat and simmer for 2-3 minutes.
4. Whisk in vanilla extract and remove from the heat.
5. Store in a sealed container in the fridge for up to 1 week.

*A couple of notes on this recipe: you can use brown sugar in place of the maple syrup if you want. You can double the syrup/sugar if you want a sweeter syrup. The syrup has a "gloopy" consistency because of the pumpkin puree, it dissolves best if vigorously mixed.*

My two favorite ways to use this syrup...

A hot pumpkin "latte" - 2 TBSP syrup mixed with equal parts hot coffee and hot milk

Iced pumpkin coffee - 3 TBSP syrup shaken vigorously over ice with iced coffee and some milk

The Perfect Day

Every day I wake up hoping this is going to be THE day. You know what I mean. That perfect day when everything just clicks. The sun shines. The birds chirp. The baby sleeps through the night. All the girls wake up happy. They eat their breakfast. Everyone's lunch is homemade and healthy. Everyone gets dressed and out the door on time. At work there is no stress. The ride home is traffic-free. Homework is done cheerfully. The baby sleeps while the rest of the family eats dinner together. No one spills their drink. We spend time together laughing. Pajamas are on, teeth are brushed, and bedtime stories are told without complaint. The kids all go to sleep at the same time. Mommy and daddy relax and toast themselves for being so awesome. Everyone sleeps for eight hours.

For about thirty seconds each morning this dream is a possibility...and then real life happens.

Real life is being woken up even when the baby does sleep through the night by the hungry cats because no one remembered to refill the food dish. Real life is sharing your bed with an acrobatic six year old because she doesn't like to sleep alone. Real life is the two year old screaming "Daddy" with increasing volume and intensity over and over until someone brings her downstairs for milk and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse every morning. Real life is eating cold scrambled eggs with your fingers rather than putting them down the disposal. Real life is letting the 1st grader eat school lunch because you're sick of listening to how gross everything you pack is. Real life is yelling like a maniac to get everyone off the couch and out the door (kind of) on time. Real life is staffing issues and patients that earned their own Google University MD. Real life is getting up a dozen times during dinner. Real life is covering the baby's head with a napkin so she can nurse while you eat. Real life is being told the meal you cooked is disgusting. Real life is enough food on the floor to feed another person. Real life is bickering and crying over whose turn it is to pick a TV show. Real life is a bedtime routine that feels like it will never end with everyone falling asleep at different times. Real life is doing chores for hours after the kids go to bed. Real life is climbing into bed feeling a bit wounded and disillusioned. Real life is admitting eight hours of sleep might never happen again.

Real life is knowing that despite how hard it is, you're going to miss it all terribly when it's over.

Welcome to my real life. A life filled with the constant struggle between following the guidelines and finding happiness by any means necessary. A life peppered by giggles and tears. A life punctuated by my many attempts at achieving that perfect day...